Days of the Week
by love-r-of-Jam
Summary: After Casino Night, Pam and Jim both deal with the repurcussions of their kiss that night and what they really want to do.
1. Monday

The Office

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, and more depressing, is that I don't even have the calendar that has Jim, and my bff does. I am jealous

Rating: Teen

Summary: Days of the week, and how Pam tried to avoid telling Jim how she feels.

Dedication: To Ashley, who introduced and enabled me to be this obsessed.

Monday

Pam woke up with the Monday blues. She had watched Roy sleep and she found herself, almost depressed. He was everything she had wanted when they met, and she thought he still had all those qualities now, but now they all seemed to fade, just like her feelings for him.

When she was sixteen, and she had one of her last sleepovers with her best friend from high school, and they had made a list of what she had wanted in a boyfriend, in a partner and a husband. And when she started dating Roy, that best friend pointed out, that Roy fit the bill. He was cute, and thoughtful and made her knees go weak. He was everything she wanted at the time, but she was sixteen after all.

Abbey, that friend from all those years ago, had emailed her a new list. She had called Abbey late the other night, and confessed all to her. All about her and Jim, and their moments. Because that's what they had, moments. Just like that commercial, they had their happy moments, and their sad moments, moments of confusion and moments of friendship, and apparently, moments of love. Nobody informed her about them, but they were there.

At first she was angry that Abbey had done this. Encouraging this madness, she was almost married for god sake, but her fingers twitched and she opened the email. It was simple and to the point and it was everything she had ever wanted, but never said it out loud. She wanted a kind man, a funny man, a man with morals and values and a man who could understand her with one look. A man who was funny, and witty and could be the life of the party, but the wallflower at the same time. A man who would love her for her, who got her dreams, and didn't think they were a waste of time. As she was reading this list, Roy didn't fit any of the things that are important to her. Sure, Roy had made her knees weak at one time, but now, ten years later, that didn't really matter to her anymore.

She didn't know how Abbey had known, but she had described Jim Halpert perfectly. She had briefly told her about Jim, and she managed to clue in on things, that she hadn't.

The alarm started going off, and Roy got up and she just lay there with her eyes closed, trying to figure out what she was going to do. Sometime later, Roy leaned down and kissed her and she moved, so he kissed her check. She couldn't pretend to be asleep for much longer. She acted like nothing was wrong.

She walked into the office, and everything looked the same, smelt the same, and people were the same. The only thing that was different was that Jim wasn't there. She tried to act like it didn't bother her that he wasn't there yet, and she was late.

Jim came in not too long after her, and he didn't look at her, or talk to her and do that smile he only did for her. He didn't sneak a peek at her, that she acted like she didn't notice, but she did. She tried to pretend that she was super busy. That answering the phone and doing her normal stuff was just as important as anyone else's job. But it just wasn't.

She wanted to go over and pull Jim into the closet and make him understand. Fear was something that she had to deal with everyday. Not the horrible kind, the paranoid kind or the downright sad kind. Just normal, every day fear. Fear that she would fail, that she would never be and do what she wanted, and fear that if she left Roy, and chased after this thing that they had, and it didn't work out. Not only would she lose something she had been holding onto for ten years, she would lose her best friend. Because she knew that she and Jim couldn't be friends again, after they took that step.

At Lunch, Jim finally looked at her and he took out his sandwich. His normal ham and cheese was nowhere in sight. At seeing that, it felt like a mini betrayal. Like he was purposely striking out against her, and she slowly walked to the washroom and cried. She looked down at her small engagement ring, and it just twinkled back at her like it was mocking her.

She sometimes let herself dream of what her life would be like, if she was marrying Jim instead of Roy. She would probably doing that internship, she would be perusing her dreams. They would live in a small house and saving for that dream house. There would be a lot more laughter in her life than right now, and she knew there would be no way that she would be questioning her judgment if the ring on her finger was a symbol of her commitment to Jim.

She could see a wedding of her dreams instead of the hurried ceremony that her mother and her had managed to arrange. She would be happy, ecstatic instead of this feeling she can't describe. She can't blame it on Jim, because she has had it since Roy announced on the booze cruise, that he wanted to get married, and soon.

Roy wasn't meant to be with her forever, and she needed to accept that.

However…

Jim's feelings on Monday were different. He had been impatient to a new degree for Monday to come. He may dread work, and dealing with Dwight and Michael and the vary of characters that he worked with. He couldn't sleep, Sunday night, excited and anxious on what would happen. How would he feel, seeing Pam again, and knowing that she knew, and she didn't feel it back? He didn't feel how he thought he would.

He thought he would sick and heartbroken, but he wasn't. He had suspected that things wouldn't be that easy. In a perfect world, Pam would exclaim that she was madly in love with him two, and they would live happily ever after, but unfortunately, this was real life.

Pam looked shocked and scared after they kissed. She had backed up so much that she had almost tripped over the lamp that was on the other side of the room. She had placed her fingers on her lips, almost not sure if it happened. And then she had gone bright red. She said something that he wasn't sure exactly what she said, but she had run out of the room and building before he really knew what happened. The entire weekend had gone by too fast, and he had been anxious to get to the office. But when he walked out to the car, it finally hit him that she hadn't showed any hint that she felt the same way. He had kissed her, she had kissed him back yes, but that didn't mean anything. She probably knew that it was a mistake, but Pam was kind and generous and she probably was stunned.

Jim sat in his car, engine running and he kept on thinking of all the worst-case scenarios. Her laughing at him, Roy attacking him, or worse, Pam just gone, without a word.

He managed to drive to work without an incident, and he was late, and he was just waiting for someone to jump on him. Jim wasn't late, Jim was a good salesman, he may not always be as focused as Stanley, or take his job so seriously, like Dwight or Angela, but he was a good employee.

He avoided looking at Pam, even if he could feel her eyes staring at him. He couldn't look at her. He had a different choice of sandwich. Something Mark had made the night before, and he saw her looked shocked and a little angry at the sight of it.

A little while later, Pam walks calmly into the bathroom, but Jim knows where she is going and why. She didn't like to cry around people, and when she did, it was because she couldn't control it. She would cry in the washroom and when she came out, no one would be the wiser, no one other than Jim.

He wanted to go in there and tell her that it was all a joke. That nothing had to change, that it was all some cosmic mistake. But Jim felt better about things already. Yes he was miserable, and so was Pam. But wasn't every working person miserable on a Monday?

His phone rang, and he had back-to-back customer calls, and by the time he was free, Pam was gone for the day. He saw Roy come in, and look for Pam. Phyllis whispered something to him and he looked concerned. And for a second, he felt sorry for Roy. He had caused some turmoil in the guy's life, even if Pam didn't feel the same.

Jim went back home and he watched the game with Mark, and he pretended that everything was ok. Maybe Tuesday would be better?

TBC


	2. Tuesday

Days of the week

Tuesday

Disclaimer: I won nothing, apart from my computer, and my mommy bought it for me. So I don't even have that. It's sad I know.

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Jim woke up on the wrong side of the futon. Sometime between watching Roy stare at everyone in the office, after hearing about Pam's sudden departure, he had assumed that somebody in the office had said something to him. Roy had zeroed in on him, and expected him to tell him why Pam had hightailed it out of there.

'Halpert, is Pam sick?' Roy had asked while Jim pretended to be in the middle of something very urgent and life altering. (Jim had a lot of experience acting busy and important, just to piss Dwight off).

'Dunno' Jim said and then turned his back to Roy.

Not wanting to give away the need to yell and scream that he was in love with Pam, and that it wasn't fair that he would never get his chance to be with her. That night he had gone home and watched the game with Mark, and acted like his world was still hunky dory. If he had more conviction, more drive to do what he wanted, rather than what was best for all, he would keep on telling Pam that he loved her.

Instead he would sit at his desk and wonder and ignore that his heart was literally broken. That was why Jim had woken up on the wrong side of the futon. Because his life would always be unfulfilled. How could it not be without Pam by his side?

He got to work early, and thank god he had been so distracted yesterday, he had tons of work to do and he wouldn't feel the need to look up and sneak a glance, hoping for some eye contact. He should be the strong one, and just give up. But Michael had given him one piece of advice that he just couldn't ignore. 'Never Ever Ever Give up'

And he just couldn't. Pam walked into the office and she looked at him immediately, and she goes to get coffee. He noticed that it wasn't on her desk. The green teapot that he thought symbolized their relationship, was nowhere to be seen, and it hurt.

He didn't know what he did to Pam, to make her get rid of it like that. Dwight came in rather abruptly and he glared at Jim. Dwight was now on guard, convinced that at any moment, he would get.. punk'd.

"Question." Dwight said suddenly, and brought Jim out of his wandering mind. "Are you going to accompany Michael on the seminar today?"

Jim sighed and rubbed his temples. 'Yes Dwight, you know that.' Dwight just glared. 'Fact, I am the ARM of this company, and I will relieve you.'

'Arm?' Jim laughed and he looked up to reception to share a look with Pam, but then he remembered the past few days. 'Yes, assistant regional manager, my girlfriend pointed out that I am the arm of this establishment.' Before Jim could even respond he saw that Michael was going to approach Pam.

Michael had decided that he was going to play matchmaker, and had been bringing up the tension between them. Jim had tried to stop Michael, not bearing to see Pam upset, even if it hurt him to do so.

So Jim began to stand up when he overheard what Michael was saying to Pam. 'I need you to come to this seminar, so put all the calls to voice mail.' Michael walks away and smirks at the cameraman that had been taping this whole scene.

Pam looks panicked and for the first time since the awkward scene the night of the casino event, they looked at each other eye-to-eye and smiled. For just a second, they both forgot about how awkward their lives had become.

The car ride was silent, and both were trying to ignore Michael who was trying to be entertaining them, and soon they were at the hotel, where the seminar was happening. It was a learning annex hosted event on getting to be the best salesman that you could be. Jim pretty much figured it was just another one of Michael's 'morale' boost that he was so fond of.

Pam and Jim were sitting so close to each other and for a minute, Jim let himself think that it was intimate. For Jim, any contact at all, makes him feel like it would work in his favor.

The conference room was hot and felt stuffy and Jim couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. He was sitting beside Pam, and her leg was leaning against his, and he looked around to see if anyone noticed. It felt intimate and he blushed. Pam was silent, and he wished that he could make some small joke that would take away this feeling.

Michael was off talking to the other managers, and Jim was left looking around, hoping to find something to distract him from feeling so awkward with Pam. Pam finally touched his arm and when he looked down at her, she just smiled back.

'I'm sorry it's taking me so long.' She says and before he can react, she walks off and Jim is left staring after her. Suddenly, that bad mood he woke up with is obliterated by one smile.

The rest of the day is vague and fuzzy, and before he goes home, after getting back from the seminar, Pam leans up and kisses him on the cheek. He had gotten some of Pam's favorite chips out of the vending machine before Dwight could get them, and he passed them to her as Roy was coming into the door. She smiled up at him, and then she pulled him down by his tie and she kissed his cheek.

'Thanks Jim.' And he left without saying anything, but the entire night, he just couldn't get rid of that grin, that one innocent kiss had created.

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Tuesday started off worse than Monday. Pam always hated Tuesdays more than Mondays, because you were even more tired than before. Pam had come home early after work and coughed and hacked in front of Roy to fool him into this fake illness she had come down with. She had frantically called Abbey again, relying on a person she had hardly spoken to until now, and now she had to talk to her. 'Pam, you have to make a decision, I think you know what you want.' Abbey was probably right, but that didn't mean I had to tell her that, or let her know that I thought she was right.

There on the kitchen table, was the green teapot. She had hidden all the 'extras' that Jim had put in for her long ago, but staring at that teapot made her want to call Jim, and tell him that she lied. She could picture the big dramatic reunion, and there would be doves and unicorns and everything light and airy, but unfortunately, it just wasn't realistic.

Instead she acted like nothing was wrong. That her bubble hadn't been burst by one tear. She went to work, in no mood to be ignored by Jim. She was almost angry that he felt like he had the right to treat her like she had done something wrong.

He had all this time to tell her, but no, he had to tell her with a few weeks until he wedding. She couldn't believe that she finally had the wedding she wanted, and now she wasn't even sure she wanted to go through with it.

She got to work without much trouble and she had already prepared herself for a long, boring, Jim-less day. Michael had told her last minute that she was going to the stupid seminar that really was just an excuse for Michael to leave the office.

She and Jim share a look and she wishes things weren't so complicated. Pam and Jim are cramped together, and she keeps on thinking that her whole face is deep red, by how much of a blush she has.

The seminar goes by, in a flash, and she sees Jim just standing there, looking awkward. Her heart weakens a little and she goes over to him. He smiles that huge smile that he only gave to her and she had to say something.

As she walked away, the butterflies in her stomach were going crazy. It was getting easier and easier to make her decision. Roy was great, but he just wasn't it for her anymore.

The day flew by, and when she saw Jim about to leave she had to do something. He smiles at her and hands her a bag of Pam's favorite chips. She smiles up at him and leans up and kisses him on the cheek and she looks behind and there is Roy. He doesn't even think that it could mean anything by something platonic.

Pam didn't want to hurt Roy, but she had to make her decision and she had to make it fast.

After all, tomorrow was just another day.


End file.
